Today I got to hang out with my friend Sandra. I’ve known Sandra since August 2007. That’s 6 years. There are times when we don’t get to hang for months…and one time a whole year. But no matter what, when we get together to chill, it’s like no time has passed.
Today we just went to the quarry to eat and walk around and talk. It’s been a couple of months. What I love about Sandra is that she doesn’t sugarcoat things. She tells me if what I say is stupid, or if she doesn’t agree. She gets angry at me for my lack of self esteem. She truly wants me to see myself the way she sees me…and she thinks I’m awesome and pretty and smart and honest….
While she thinks all these things about me I don’t know how to see myself as that sometimes. It’s crazy..I mean I know I’m a cool chick, but sometimes I feel like a …not so cool chick.
I have some real great friends. I’m glad I have them in my life. Sandra tells me how stupid I am for feeling down. Truth be told, she is right. It may not be exactly the life I want or I may not be in a relationship but that shouldn’t stop me from seeing the good I’ve accomplished. She said I put too much emphasis on comparing myself to others..why should I do that when everyone is so different. No one person is on the same path as I am. She says for me to get over it. She is right.
I need to work on that. I need to work on focusing on myself. I need to be cool with myself. My time will come when things will just naturally fall in to place. Who knows maybe once I stop trying find someone, they’ll just find me.