Yet again I find myself wondering what I want to do for the rest of my life. I keep thinking about staying at the paper and try to become like my boss, or get the hell out of San Antonio and only come back to retire. I usually lean more towards the second one. I love my city. It’s very unique. It’s not like the other major cities in Texas and I thoroughly enjoy that. We have the blessing of a big city, but the community of a small one (minus the everyone knowing each other). And I really feel that San Antonio is a great place to retire. I want to see other places. I have this thirst to want to see more. I’ve been to New York, Los Angeles, Miami, and of course South Korea. I’m visiting Japan next year and I may be heading to Boston for a week in May. I may also be returning to LA for three days to visit some really good friends of mine who are out there trying to make their dreams come true.
I envy those friends. They’re out there trying to make their dreams come true. I’m stuck here. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. I, for the most part, like the company I work for. But it’s definitely not what I want to do for the rest of my life. And while i mentioned that I think about being like my boss, I always end up thinking otherwise. Why? Even though my boss is amazing at what she does and she started out at the company like I did, it’s not what she really wanted to do. And even now she says if a job opportunity came up in what she really wanted to do, she’d leave in a heartbeat. She’s always stressed and truth be told, you can tell she really dislikes her job at times. I don’t want to have those days, even though I know they’ll come. I want to LOVE what I do. I want to go to work and not dread going in.
I still have dreams of being a music journalist/marketer. I still have dreams of teaching English in Korea. I still have dreams of traveling. I have all these dreams that I want to pursue. And while I know I make up excuses to not pursue them, I really feel like I need to get a move on them. I’m only getting older. I’m 25 and my goodness…it feels like I’ve wasted half my life. What better moment than the now to pursue these dreams?