Past Poetry

Yesterday I had some wings for dinner..and I know that is bad considering I want to lose weight, but Let’s put it this way, I won’t be eating those for a while. I got sick last night and was up most of the night. Ugh. Today at least, I was able to hold some food down, like some pho and a grilled chicken burger from Whataburger. I am slowly but surely drinking more water and even though I’ve eaten out, it’s not as bad as what I usually eat. i always have to make it a meal and super size them..and I’ve stopped that. And i don’t get the soda.

Anyways, I wanted to share a poem I wrote a while ago. I wanted to share it becuase it popped into my head today. I realized that I’ve come a long way from the point I wrote this poem. I was really angry at what was going on. I was agitated all the time and the blame was being placed on me. I was mad at “John” for making me feel like it was my fault. I was mostly mad at myself for letting it get that far. Even though the poem has a happier ending, and I really didn’t get that (Yet), I know mine will come.  Sometimes I think life is laughing at me. Sometimes I feel that I’m meant to live thinking of all the things I could have done better or waiting for Mr. Right for the rest of my life. I know it sounds silly to say that, but hey, I’m a hopeless romantic and I want the fairytale. Sue me.

Angry

That’s what you are

For what?

You don’t know

It’s how you are

So a girl hurt you

Switched the roles

Had you crying

And wanting more

But never came back

I’m not her

I’m not that girl

Don’t blame me

For her indescency

Her emotional affair with you

Yell and cry–Chew me out

But don’t you blame me

I kept my feelings secret

How much I really cared..loved

Everything about you

It was for your own good

Didn’t need to add to your

Self Destructive ways

The anger builds up

for the things that others did

torched your soul

it’s still on fire

I’m sorry

It’s not my fault

That all the while

You slept with her, only thoughts and wants of me appeared

You kept your feelings secret

Afraid that what you felt

Would turn against you

That I’m just like that girl

Who uses and abuses

Gets up and leaves during the night

While you tossed and turned through the nights

I slept in the comfort of protective hands

A Man

I’m falling in love with

Don’t blame me for moving on

For letting you live your life

I can’t control how you feel

or when you decide to tell me how much you care

I’m not the one to blame

for your mistakes

for your lack of words

At least now i know why you’re in pain

But i’m finally feeling safe

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