Sixth Sense

Today I met my friend’s crush. She wanted me to meet him because I believe/feel that I have a sixth sense about these things. I’m not kidding either. I’ve had this extra perception since …as long as I can remember. I can just read people. Actually, I wouldn’t say “read people” but I definitely get vibes from there. And there hasn’t been a single person that I haven’t been wrong about. I can usually get a pretty good sense of people from the first time I meet them…although, I’m sure one day I’ll be wrong. Actually, I hope that I’m wrong a lot because, I get a lot of bad vibes.

For instance, my old high school friend Ani…each one of her boyfriends I did not like from the very beginning. The reason? Because I didn’t get a good feeling from the first time I met them. Also, my best friend…there’s been a few times with her ex-boyfriends where I knew something was going to happen, whether it be sooner later, something happens. And it’s not just with boyfriends. It’s with people I know too. I just get these vibes that tells me something is going to happen. And I’m right about them too.

That being said, my friend Jessica, has had some experience with me and my vibes. She wanted to do a photoshoot with the guy (I do photography as well. I guess you can say that I’m a creative kinda person here and there. I’ll post share some photos in another post). So I got to meet the guy and “interrogate” him. My overall impression of him…he’s a decent kid. I really didn’t get any “vibe” from him like I do with some people. So that’s not to say that I won’t get the vibe later if I see him again, but for today, he’s okay. He’s got a good head on his shoulders. He works and has a great job that he likes, gets paid really good (more than me!) And he’s only 20. He’s going to be 21 soon. He has his own car, phone etc, and looking for a house to buy. Yes, I said, house. So those are all good things. My issues with him: He really couldn’t hold a conversation with me. I purposely asked questions that would make most people talk or have a “debate” but he really didn’t talk or has one word answers. That got on my nerves. Secondly, he said that the last relationship he had was about 2 years ago. Well, why? He’s a good looking guy. Super cutie. So why isn’t he with somebody?

So overall, I think he’s a good guy for being only 20. I mean, he’s making more money than me, so i’m a bit jealous. And I have two degrees! Makes me wanna go into the medical field now. Oh well. I like what I do. But I highly doubt my friend will choose to tdate him. She doesn’t like the idea of being “tied down.” She likes her freedom. I guess we’ll see.

I’m a bit jealous of her…of my other girlfriends too. Why? Because they’re gorgeous. They don’t need to try. Finding someone they like is easy for them. They always have at least one or two guys who they know like them. It’s also really annoying why they all think that they’re ugly and fat and not good enough. I am beyond belief perplexed on why they think that. It really upsets me because I understand that all women, younger and older, have insecurities. I know because I do. But serious, for goodness sakes! What I hate the most about it, is that they complain about not being pretty, or not being healthy, not being able to get back with their ex boyfriend, not feeling like anything…and they complain to me!! For goodness sakes, I hate that! It makes me feel bad. I try to tell them how I feel and sometimes its like they don’t get it. I would give anything to look like they do, to have even had a boyfriend that cares for me. They know I struggle with my weight and my issues and they know where I stand on guys because of what I went through. It still bothers me. And what makes it worst, when we go out, there are times (like once in a blue moon), that guys come up to us and talk to us. And my friends are quiet. I like talking. I can talk all the time if possible. So if guys come up to us, I talk. But my friends won’t talk or if they talk, it’s a few sentences and that’s it. Yet, the guys still want them, want their number etc. It’s rather annoying. They even ask me why my friend isn’t talking and if she’s available, and tell me, that I’m cool. It’s very very sad. I just don’t get it. Am I that horrible? Am I that much of a horrible looking person? Am I that sad looking?

What makes me wonder is if I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Am I going to be that old lady with no animals with no visitors? Am i going to end up not being able to find someone who gets me? This bothers me on a regular basis and I know it shouldn’t but it does. How sad, right?

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