Love of my life

I put up with someone for 7 years. He was what I thought was the “love of my life.” But what did I know? He never loved me back. He really had no clue.

To put this in perspective, I met this guy, “John’ in high school, my junior year. It was really weird how we met, but we just clicked. Well, soon after, I sorta started falling for the guy. He didn’t look at me that way, but he did like my best friend. Thankfully, my best friend would never go out with a guy I liked (not that she liked him that way anyway). Well, let’s just say, John didn’t get along with anyone. He didn’t make many friends…actually, while in high school, besides myself, he really only had his other friend from his former high school. He offended people easily, made them mad, talked back,…you name it, he could do it. I didn’t mind..I mean, he got me mad a lot, but I guess, I just put up with it.

Eventually, he and I dated for a little while after about 2 years of being friends. It didn’t work out because…well, he moved. and the move was to a different country (supposedly). Anyways, long story short, I put up with his nonsense…trust me. All he ever really did was tell me that i wasn’t that great of a person, cuss me out, ..he verbally abused me countless times. But I always felt that he’d grow up.

He never really did. I was there for him when he was at his lowest..even when I didn’t know what he was telling me was ever really true. The problem was, I thought he was the love of my life. And even though it took me 7 years to figure out that he wasn’t, sometimes I still wonder. Even though he was such a jerk, a stupid bastard, he had a lot of moments where you knew he cared. And there were those moments when he made me feel like I was the only one in his world.

I think about him often. I haven’t really spoken to him in over a year. But ever since then, i can’t seem to really find someone I can click with just as much as him. Maybe I’m just in a rush to want to be in a relationship..one that’s not going to damage me. But is there really such a thing as a “love of my life”…i mean, i loved him. I can honestly say, I loved him. I never say that out loud because I hated that..that’s how I felt. But there’s no use hiding it.

I wish he hadn’t left such a huge impact on my life. Sadly, he did. But because of him, I might make millions. I intend to write a book about it. The stories I have…priceless.

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